Did you answer yes to any of these questions?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to know that bullying leads to children’s eating disorders or other dysfunctional behaviors. More and more children are finding they need treatment for an eating disorder who are younger than 12.

Bullying is dangerous and can even lead to suicide. The internet has exposed the terrible truth about the effects of bullying. Remember, Phoebe Green, who hung herself at age 15 because of cyber bullying.

Only recently have we as health care professionals begun to look at the seriousness of bullying particularly after reported teenage suicides. Does your child use the internet? If so, be alert. Know that the internet has exposed the terrible truth about the effects of bullying, severe enough to drive some kids to self-harm or suicide.

Bullying effects millions of students but parents and teachers don’t understand the serious outcomes. When professionals or parents tell kids to ignore teasing, or to just get on with it, this not the kind of advice or understanding they need.

What does bullying looks like?

1. Emotional or verbal abuse looks like “Fatty fatty two by four, can’t get thru the kitchen door” or Piggy, piggy!
2. “Hey Jew boy.”
3. Cyber abuse is on Facebook where everyone from your school can see it.
4. Cruel emails can be sent from anywhere.

A person can be picked on by an individual or group with more power. Someone with more power may be peers, older kids, even teachers or parents. Bullies choose their victims because they look different, have a different religion, or are disabled. Bullies pick on a person simply because the person is shy or is gay or is a lesbian.

We must never forget that bullying is a severe form of abuse, i.e. emotional abuse, verbal and sexual abuse. Being excluded socially is a form of abuses. Verbal bullying, cruel email, or cyber-bullying (posting insults online) are forms of abuse.

Bullying like most forms of abuse is ongoing, like water dripping on a stone. The person being bullied lives in a constant state of fear. Everything in his or her life is affected. School work and health are both affected. A person being bullied can get stomach-aches, diarrhea, and headaches from the stress.
Kids abused by peers or family members can suffer from depression, low-self-esteem, and anxiety occasionally or a great deal of the time. They might even consider suicide!

Here are 8 tips to help you protect yourself from bullies. What advise will help if you feel bullied or know someone who is being bullied?

1. Tell someone about it, a teacher, a friend, a parent — tell anyone but tell right away.
2. Stick together with your friend who is being bullied — never leave him or her alone.
3. Learn to ignore the bully. Don’t add wood to the fire.
4. Don’t get physical (or angry) with the bully.
5. Practice feeling and looking confident. Posture is a give-away.
6. take small steps to be in charge of your life. This is where a good coach can help.
7. Talk about the bully and bullying to anyone and everyone. The more public you are, the bully will hide out.
8. Find true friends, friends that can offer you unconditional friendship.

If you’re a kid, find an adult who can guide you step by step through the process of taking charge of your life.

As you grow in confidence, you’ll stand taller knowing that no one will bully you again.

I have always tried not to use another person’s material when writing my blog, but this article is so exceptional, I need to share it with everyone!! It comes from a website, www.eatingforlife.org.

What to do if you think someone may have an eating disorder
Eating disorders are not about the food. There is always a deeper problem that is causing the person to focus so intently on food. The eating disorder is the outward manifestation signaling that there is an inner problem (e.g. self-esteem, family issues, depression, anxiety). An eating disorder is a person’s attempted solution to that problem. The eating disorder will begin to go away when the inner problem is addressed, and usually counseling is helpful in this process.

Make sure you approach the person one-on-one. If a group of you is concerned, it is very important that one person be chosen to talk with the friend. Group confrontation can make a person feel “ganged up on” and can cause a friend to feel betrayed, as if everyone has been talking about them. The goal is to support your friend, and often a group confrontation can leave a person feeling like they have been betrayed by their support system.

Make a plan to approach your friend in a private place. Try to choose a non-stressful environment where you will have time to talk at length, if necessary.

Present what you have observed and what your concerns are in a non-confrontational, caring way. Tell him or her that you are worried because of what you have noticed and that you would like to offer some help. Stay away from saying “we’ve been talking and are worried” – focus on what you yourself have seen, it is less threatening. (Friends who are too angry or hurt to talk supportively should not be the ones to confront.)

Offer human company and empathy. You don’t need to agree with the person’s feelings or stance. There is a place for challenge, advice, information, pep talks, jokes, and confrontation. Generally, that place is after she or he feels her or his experience is understood and accepted for what it is.

Listen carefully and non-judgmentally. Give the person time to hear what you have to say and to verbalize their feelings. Ask clarifying questions and then accept whatever they have to say without judgment. Encourage him or her to talk about their feelings.

Do not argue about whether or not there is a problem. Power struggles are not helpful. You could say, “I hear what you are saying and I hope that you are right and that this is not a problem. But I am still concerned about what I have seen and heard because I care about you.” (It is best not to say what other people feel or what they have noticed. Speak with “I” statements.)

Do not lay guilt trips, like “Look what you are doing to your family or roommates”. We are each responsible for our own feelings. Bear in mind that people with eating disorders yearn to know that someone could both know the worst about them and love them and care about them anyway.

If the person denies the problem, becomes angry, or refuses treatment, understand that this is often a part of the illness. They have a right to refuse (UNLESS their life is in danger). You may feel helpless and angry. You might say, “I know you can refuse to go for help, but that won’t stop me from being concerned. I may bring this up again later – maybe we can talk about it then.” Follow through on this, and other promises you might make. Your friend may need time to process what you have said to them. Don’t expect an immediate positive response, the important thing is to follow through and be consistent.

Provide information and resources for treatment. Make sure that you brush up on your knowledge of eating disorders before you talk to your friend, and be sure to offer resources to your friend. Encourage her or him to see a counselor, nutritionist, or physician and offer to go with them to the first appointment. Remember that recovery is a long process. It may take a while before your friend is feeling better and it is important for you to remain supportive throughout the entire recovery process.

Do not try to be the hero or rescuer – you may be resented. If you do the best you can to help on several occasions and the person does not accept it, stop. This does not mean stop being aware of their behavior, but you have done all it is reasonable to do. Eating disorders are stubborn problems, and treatment is most effective when the person is truly ready for it. You may have planted a seed that helps them get ready.

Make sure you get support for yourself. It can be difficult to live with someone who is dealing with an eating disorder. Get the information and support that you need.

For continuing support of your friend:
Remember that she or he is more than the eating disorder. Don’t let it become an identity – focus on his or her other characteristics that make them great. The more you help him or her identify his or her positive attributes, the easier it will be to let go of the “eating disorder” identity.

Don’t be afraid of conflicts or problems. These areas need to be brought out into the open, not hidden. Be sure to keep lines of communication open.

Do not focus on weight gained or lost. Focus more on their mental state. If you say, “you look thin” you are focusing on appearance and feeding into their behavior. If you say, “you look healthy” she or he may think you are saying, “you look fat.”

Don’t focus on achievements – grades, promotions, etc. Instead, talk about his or her inner qualities and strengths. Set an example – be good to yourself and she or he will see that it is possible.

Stay positive! People do recover from eating disorders. Many people who recover acknowledge the importance of friends who believed in them and kept trying to reach out to them.

Women’s Resource Center
Boston College

Dear Jeanne,

I am a former Mirasol client from back in 2007. After a lifetime of sickness with an extreme case of anorexia, I finally found a treatment center that not only worked for me, but gave me my life back and allowed me to flourish since I left four years ago. In those four years I have earned my master’s degree in advanced practice nursing and am now a family nurse practitioner.

Words cannot adequately express how much my time and experience at Mirasol meant to me, and there has not been a day that has gone by since I left where I haven’t thought about it. Not only was it the beginning of my recovery and healing journey, but it introduced me to the world of holistic and alternative medicine, reignited my interest in health care, and was the inspiration for my application to nurse practitioner programs.

I felt accepted, understood, nurtured, and most of all LOVED by the people I encountered at Mirasol, and that is why I was able to heal there. I firmly believe that everything I’ve been through with my eating disorder has been for a reason, and has led me to a path of wanting to give back what was so generously given to me. No matter where I end up working I know that I will carry my Mirasol experience with me forever, and it will always be there guiding my approach to patient care.

All my love to you,

J. S.

Mirasol has just received three-year accreditation from the Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities (CARF). The survey report commended Mirasol for its “dedication and commitment to improving the quality of the lives of the persons served” and its “established pattern of practice excellence”.

The CARF survey report described Mirasol’s residential eating disorder treatment program as follows:

• Mirasol has a seasoned staff that is capable of helping women deal effectively with eating disorders and return to a lifestyle free from these disorders.
• Mirasol CEO Jeanne Rust, PhD, is “a leader in the field in developing innovative interventions that will help individuals with eating disorders overcome their disorders”.
• The outcomes data have shown over the last three years a dramatic reduction in depressive characteristics, an increase in self-esteem, and a reduction in personal destructive traits ….
• Mirasol has been fully licensed by the Arizona Board of Behavioral Health Examiners since 1999. The organization prides itself on its cutting-edge therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectical-behavioral therapy, Gestalt psychology, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, and … experiential therapies. Adjunctive therapies are provided by professionals certified in their various fields, such as neurofeedback, art therapy, meditation, therapeutic recreation, and yoga. Additional therapies include exercise therapy, dance/movement therapy, art therapy, polarity therapy, acupuncture, and nutritional education. Each client participates for a minimum of six hours a week in these specialty modalities.
• The organization’s alternative approach to eating disorder recovery has a success rate that is twice the industry average. Services are holistic in nature and deeply spiritual, with emphasis on the mind, body, spirit and soul.
• Clients interviewed are very pleased with services and staff members. Several talked about how much they have learned and how their lives have changed through the unique therapies offered at Mirasol. One said she felt Mirasol was “magic,” and all agreed on how caring the staff members are.
• The enthusiasm and empathy of the management and staff members promote a healthy and caring setting for all persons served who report staff members are always available and work as a team.
• The commitment, dedication, compassion, enthusiasm, and skills of very professional staff members are impressive and infectious. Leadership strives to hire and retain individuals who clearly meet and exceed state-required qualifications.

The CARF survey contained surprisingly few recommendations, but included an admonition to do a better job of communicating Mirasol’s achievements to present and future clients, referring therapists and other stakeholders!

Mirasol is thrilled and humbled to be so recognized by CARF. We thank the members of the survey team for their thorough assessment, and we pledge to follow CARF’s guidelines and to do our best to continually exceed the expectations of CARF, our clients, their families and members of the community.

“We’ve been doing the challenge course for several years now, and it has become a really important part of our program,” says Mirasol Clinical Director Diane Ryan.

“It’s a great metaphor for what the clients are going through in treatment. Recovery from an eating disorder is a huge challenge, but clients learn that they’re stronger than they think they are, that they can access different resources, learn to ask for support, and find out that they’re not in this all by themselves.”

Since the challenge course was so powerful in the normal course of treatment, Ryan decided to incorporate it into Mirasol’s three-day family program.

“The exercises help women and their families see how they relate to one another,” says Ryan. “We talk a lot about things like enmeshment and enabling. But it’s one thing to talk about it, and it’s another to climb 40 feet in the air, lean on each for support, and find out that one of you is holding back and unwilling to trust. Or discover how you can push through it by encouraging each other and being clear about communicating what you need.”

In the “High V”, two people clasp hands and traverse a set of cables in a “V” shape, each walking on one of the cables. The farther they traverse, the more they must lean on one another. The only way for them to succeed is to put their total trust in each other.

“Adding the challenge course has created a whole different dimension. Families often tell us that it was the highlight of the program. It helps them feel connected and learn to communicate in a different way. So it really does what we want family program to do, which is put them in a place where they will have a whole different relationship going forward.”

By Dr. Sharon Meglathery

I am a traditionally trained, East Coast physician with board certification in both internal medicine and psychiatry. However, when I arrived at Mirasol, I knew little about complementary, alternative or naturopathic medicine, and essentially nothing about holistic treatment of eating disorders. I had been taught that eating disorders were very dangerous and difficult to treat, and that other than fluoxetine (Prozac) for bingeing and purging, off-label use of atypical antipsychotics for irrational thinking and appetite stimulation, and topiramate for appetite suppression, no medications have proven very effective for treating these dangerous conditions.

Arriving with an open mind, I was greeted during my first psychiatric evaluation by a very guarded, hostile young woman who quickly informed me that she had chosen Mirasol because she never again wanted to be controlled or tortured by psychiatrists in a “so called treatment center,” and that there was no way she would take any medication. My floundering attempt to extract any useful information — I had given up on any chance of prescribing anything — was dramatically interrupted by the screeching of another patient who had accidentally sprayed liquid soap into her eye. My attempt to help by providing a bowl of water for irrigation of the eye was immediately rejected as a reckless attempt to cause further harm by infecting the eye. Caring attention from both staff and other patients had little effect on the inconsolable crying which was punctuated by demands to be taken to the emergency room. As I cycled through feelings of helplessness, anger, and frustration, I remembered what had been repeated over and over during my psychotherapy residence: the emotions provoked in the provider by the patient often reflect what the patient is experiencing. My initial impulse to retreat was replaced by intrigue and a sense of challenge. It was going to be very enlightening to see how the other providers worked with these women. It was going to take more than behavioral modification and 15-minute med checks to effect lasting change.

My first two patients had demonstrated several fundamental truths about people with eating disorders:

• They are in tremendous — and not easily consoled — psychic pain which is expressed in a variety of primal and harmful ways.
• The behaviors of the patients themselves, and the relationships they form with the doctor, staff and other patients, are fraught with transference (which can be a powerful tool).
• The medical establishment’s use of coercive and punitive measures with these patients (ultimatums, feeding tubes, medication to affect appetite, etc.) does little to promote healing while eroding whatever trust the patient may have initially had.

For me, establishing rapport is the essential first step. I often think of the life-saving advice that one should not swim toward shore perpendicular to a riptide, but rather parallel to the shore until the riptide has passed. Butting heads with the patient is like swimming against the riptide; finding some commonality allows you and the patient to eventually swim together toward the shore.

As the provider who assesses patients when they arrive and then when they depart, I have been amazed at the changes I have observed firsthand. Why do so many patients who have “failed treatment” at the “best” of treatment facilities finally succeed at Mirasol? I believe it’s because we establish ourselves as trustworthy, caring and competent providers with a wide range of skills. We look for the deep-rooted cause/meaning of the eating disorder and help the patient process this as part of her life narrative. We enhance personal, positive development and empower patients to surrender their eating disorders and enjoy the natural and normal bodily sensations associated with food. The clients leave Mirasol as more developed, competent women who are able to experience their emotions fully and safely, and who are better equipped to handle life’s challenges. And, from now on, because they will choose to eat in a healthy manner, they will attain long-term medical and psychiatric balance.

]]> http://edrecovery.com/swimming-in-the-rip-tide-an-eating-disorder-psychiatrists-journey/feed/ 1 http://edrecovery.com/transformational-living-center-open-house/ http://edrecovery.com/transformational-living-center-open-house/#comments Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:10:21 +0000 jrust http://edrecovery.com/?p=86 Mirasol opened its new Transformational Living Center (TLC) on June 15, and just a few weeks later, we celebrated with an Open House in honor of Mirasol’s 10th Anniversary. Guests were invited to tour the new 10-bed facility, and to share a fabulous buffet prepared by Mirasol’s world-famous chefs.

TLC is a new program based on 10 years of research into the most effective options for eating disorder treatment and relapse prevention. Like Mirasol’s primary residential program, it combines traditional therapy with alternative therapies proven effective in the treatment of chronic stress-related conditions. However, TLC recognizes that not everyone can take time out for long-term residential care, so its flexible program emphasizes real world skills and therapies that can achieve rapid improvements in the client’s ability to cope with stress.

“We offer process groups, individual therapy, nutrition education, cooking classes, medical support and other elements of traditional eating disorder treatment,” says TLC Program Manager Diane Ryan. “But we also do a lot of experiential work, including challenge courses, dance movement therapy and body image work. And we help the clients achieve balance in their lives by taking advantage of festivals, art exhibits, concerts and other events going on in the community.”

One of TLC’s specialities is “Brain Paint” a new development in neurofeedback that allows the client to continue EEG entrainment at home after completing residential treatment at Mirasol.

“We incorporate many more therapy hours than most transitional living programs,” says Ryan, “so that as the clients progress beyond the initial two weeks, they can choose what works best for them from a menu of treatment options.”

The Transformational Living Center offers individually-designed eating disorder treatment programs from two weeks to three months or more. For more information, please visit our web site or call 888-520.1700.

]]> http://edrecovery.com/transformational-living-center-open-house/feed/ 0 http://edrecovery.com/how-to-build-a-treatment-center/ http://edrecovery.com/how-to-build-a-treatment-center/#comments Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:44:53 +0000 jrust http://edrecovery.com/?p=80 I had the good fortune to work at another eating disorder treatment program in the early 1990s. I learned a lot about eating disorders, and I saw first hand what I liked and didn’t like about treatment! Later, when I was in private practice, my clients included many young women who were athletes at the University of Arizona. I couldn’t help noticing how many of them went into treatment over the summer only to relapse once they returned to school in the fall.

At that time I was working on my PhD at Saybrook Graduate School and Research Center in San Francisco. While studying Clinical Behavioral Medicine, I was introduced to concept of stress-related illness. It didn’t take long to recognize that many illnesses — including eating disorders — were the result of chronic stress. I knew then that an effective eating disorder treatment program would have to offer much more than traditional psychotherapy.

I had wanted to start my own program for some time, but couldn’t figure out how to do it. I had very little money, no angels and no investors. All I had was a gift of $5000 from my mother and a web site called, “ED Recovery Online” that I had started in 1994. I invested in business cards and stationery and rented a small space on the property of Cottonwood, a chemical dependency treatment center in Tucson, Arizona. I maxed out my credit cards buying bedding and art supplies, and we were off!

Mirasol opened its doors on July 1, 1999, and filled up almost immediately. I used pretty much the same interventions that were used in the Stanford Center for Integrative Medicine, including neurofeedback, yoga, meditation, acupuncture, and body therapies.

In a few weeks, we will celebrate our 10th anniversary, and as I look back at the past decade, I believe that Mirasol owes its success to the following elements:

1. Love. I live in a world with only two emotions, love and fear. With a firm foundation of love for the people I wanted to help, how could I go wrong?
2. Passion. When it comes to starting a treatment center, your work becomes your total focus. Not much else matters. You link every thought, every conversation, every e-mail and every discussion you have to your project. I became the most boring, single-minded person in the world!
3. Commitment. Starting a treatment center is not a part-time occupation. Eating disorder treatment programs, centers, clinics — whatever you want to call them — are not built, they are birthed. The gestation period can take well over nine months and there is a very long and painful labor. When you design your program, always do so with the best interests of the patient in mind. Include your most innovative ideas and all of the research you’ve done. If necessary, you can reduce costs later on if you need to make it more affordable.
4. Chutzpah (Being Brave and Bold). Navigating the zoning, licensing and marketing will take courage and persistence. You need to overcome your fear when you’ve hired your staff and have no patients! Remember that the only way you can fail is to not try!
5. Sensitivity. You need to remain flexible and sensitive to your patients’ needs at all times, and to remember to treat each client as an individual. You need to continually learn from your clients and to improve your program based on testing and measuring your results. You need to keep on striving to offer the best!

Most important is remembering that we live in a world where we can make a contribution. The universe has brought us to this point and has made it our job here on this earth to help these people that suffer so terribly. If you feel the hand of the universe at your back, there’s no way you can miss! ]]> http://edrecovery.com/how-to-build-a-treatment-center/feed/ 0 http://edrecovery.com/emotional-freedom-techniques/ http://edrecovery.com/emotional-freedom-techniques/#comments Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:48:03 +0000 jrust http://edrecovery.com/?p=77 The Wikipedia Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) from Gary Craig and Wikipedia definitely put Emotional Freedom Techniques in the alternative medicine and energy psychology arena or what some people would refer to as “woo-woo”. I might have thought the same myself of Emotional Freedom Techniques except I had the good fortune to attend Gary Craig’s first training session in the mid-1990s.

The underlying philosophy of Emotional Freedom Techniques rests with the belief that negative emotions are caused by disturbances in the body’s energy field.As a person thinks about a disturbing memory or emotion and simultaneously taps on a series of 12 specific pressure points on the body, he or she is helped to free himself or herself from such disturbing thoughts through altering the body’s energy field, thus restoring it to “balance.”

I am usually very skeptical of something that claims to “cure” all emotional, psychological issues as well as pain, disease, and physical issues. Of course EFT practitioners also claim that Emotional Freedom Techniques can help with depression, anxiety, trauma, addictions, PTSD, all phobias, as well as weight loss, performance issues, and everything else!

I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. While standing in the front of the room, one woman who was terrified of snakes burst into tears, started screaming, and was visibly shaking when a live snake was brought into the room in a cage and placed in the very back of the room. Gary Craig worked with her, teaching her Emotional Freedom Techniques, and literally in 10 minutes she was carrying the cage around the room while talking to the snake, calling him Snakey, and making snake jokes!

Another woman was deathly afraid of elevators and for many years only used the stairs in department stores and office buildings. Gary taught her Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and then took the woman and the entire training class to the bank of elevators in the building where the training was being held. The woman proceeded to get on the elevator. She was still quite nervous but after a few more sessions of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) she was able to ride the elevator up and down quite happily!

 As I began to work on some of my own negative emotions and “issues” while in the training, I had the strangest feeling after I completed the tapping process. I felt a huge sense of relief as if my insides were relaxing! I was so amazed at the way I felt. I no longer felt so much of the anger that I had been carrying around with me for years. A feeling of serenity and peace had filled the space in my heart where the anger used to be.

I have continued to insist that Emotional Freedom Techniques be used at Mirasol for our eating disorder patients. We have a wonderful, extremely competent practitioner that teaches our patients the techniques. Particularly at mealtime the patients are able to reduce a great deal of the fear of eating and fear of food.

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