The Power of One

April 11th, 2012

The Power of ONE

Dear Survivor,

As a therapist who treats eating disorders, I have worked with many women, men, and families who fought to overcome their illness and reclaim a life beyond calorie obsessions, food phobias, and irrational fear of weight gain. Often, when they first made the courageous effort to step into my office, they would ask, “What can I do to fix this problem?” For years I struggled to answer this question due to the sheer number of issues involved, and the unique and complex way this illness affects each individual. However, my clients have taught me a great deal about recovery, and my answer is now fairly simple: it involves the concept of the Power of ONE.

Recovery from an eating disorder can be a long and challenging process, so if you are feeling discouraged or overwhelmed about beginning or continuing this journey, just remember the Power of ONE:

to take ONE second, minute, or day at a time,
to set ONE goal at a time,
to have ONE conversation at a time,
to deal with ONE problem at a time,
to eat ONE more bite or meal than you are prepared for,
to resist ONE more binge episode,
to reduce your number of purge episodes by ONE more,
to make ONE more healthy choice,
to establish ONE treatment team that you can rely on,
to find at least ONE passion that gives you the desire to fight for your life,
to reach out to ONE friend at a time,
to take your medicine ONE more day,
to do ONE fun thing you enjoy,
to find ONE more thing you appreciate about your body,
to dream about ONE life worth living,
to take ONE more breath in order to calm yourself down,
to find ONE solution to a problem and then ONE more if necessary,
to get up ONE more time than you fall down,
to remember ONE more person who loves you,
to go to ONE more doctor’s appointment,
to follow your meal plan for ONE more meal,
to talk back to ED ONE more time,
to take ONE more break if you need to
and then continue to put ONE foot in front of the other even when you feel discouraged,
to find ONE more reason to survive this illness,
to remember ONE successful thing you accomplished today,
to remember ONE more good quality you possess,
to create ONE balanced lifestyle,
to trust your body and treat it right for ONE more day,
to set ONE more boundary to protect yourself,
to confront ONE more person if you need to,
to stand up for yourself ONE more time,
to identify and process ONE more emotion at a time,
to defy ONE more myth about eating disorders,
to recognize ONE more unrealistic expectation and re-define it to something that is useful to you,
and to define, reclaim, and embrace the ONE and only you who is good enough, caring enough, attractive enough, smart enough, successful enough, funny enough, healthy enough, and powerful enough to create ONE life worth living with the ultimate goal of being ONE more person who did what it takes each and every day to survive this illness.

Sincerely,
Someone who believes in you

By: Tamara Richardson, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, part-time private practice clinician in Stillwater, Oklahoma, and a senior clinical counselor at Oklahoma State

Some Tips on Getting Rid of Bad Habits: I Can’t Help Myself

March 6th, 2012

I love passing on information that I think can be helpful for you. This blog is written by Heidi Grant Halvorson. Dr. Halvorson is a rising star in the field of motivational science. Heidi is the Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia University Business School. She is a an expert blogger for Fast Company, The Huffington Post, and Psychology Today, as well as a regular contributor to the BBC World Service’s Business Daily, the Harvard Business Review, and SmartBrief’s SmartBlog on Leadership. Her writing has also been featured on CNN Living and Mamapedia. Her new book “Succeed: How We Can All Reach Our Goals”, and her Harvard Business Review ebook, “Nine Things Successful People Do Differently” are available on Amazon.
You can contact Heidi at heidi [dot] grant [dot] halvorson [at] gmail [dot] com

Do you snack every night in front of the television? Do you drink a little too much when you are out with your friends? Do you ever find that you’ve smoked a whole pack of cigarettes, bitten off half your nails, or eaten an entire bag of Doritos without realizing you were doing it?

That’s the real problem when it comes to ridding yourself of bad habits – back in the beginning, when the behavior was new; it was something you did intentionally and probably consciously. But do anything enough times, and it becomes relatively automatic. In other words, you don’t even need to know that you are doing it.

In fact, as new research shows, you don’t even need to want to do it. If you develop the habit of snacking in front of your TV at night, how hungry you are or how tasty the snack is will no longer determine whether or how much you eat.

Many bad habits operate mindlessly, on autopilot. They are triggered by the context (e.g., watching TV, socializing, feeling stressed), rather than by any particular desire to engage in the behavior. So, the key to stopping a bad habit isn’t making a resolution – it’s figuring out how to turn off the autopilot. It’s learning to disrupt the behavior, preferably before it starts.

Take for example a recent study of Movie Theater popcorn-eating. Researchers invited a group of people to watch fifteen minutes of movie previews while seated in a real movie theater. They gave the participants free bags of popcorn, and varied whether the popcorn was fresh or stale. (The stale popcorn was actually a week old, yuck!) Then they measured how much popcorn each person ate.

Not surprisingly, everyone who got the stale popcorn reported liking it less than those who got fresh. And people with a weak popcorn habit (i.e., those who didn’t usually eat popcorn at the movies) ate significantly more fresh popcorn than stale. But here’s the kicker – for people with a strong popcorn habit (i.e., those who always ordered popcorn at the movies) it didn’t matter how stale the popcorn was! They ate the same amount, whether it was an hour old, or seven days old.

That’s worth thinking about for a moment – people with a strong habit were eating terrible popcorn, not because they didn’t notice it was terrible, but because it didn’t matter. The behavior was automatic, not intentional. So if tasting like Styrofoam won’t keep you from eating something, what will?

The researchers found that there were, in fact, two effective ways to disrupt the automatic popcorn-eating.

First, you can disrupt the habit by changing the context. When they conducted the same study in the context of a conference room, rather than a movie theater, people with strong popcorn habits at the movie theater stopped eating the stale popcorn. The automatic popcorn-eating behavior wasn’t activated, because the situational cues were changed.

If you have a habit you’d like to break, spend some time thinking about the situations in which it most often occurs. If you snack in front of the TV at night, consider doing something else in the evenings for a while – reading a good book, spending time with friends or family, even surfing the web. Any alternative activity that is less likely to trigger mindless eating. If you just can’t give up your favorite TV shows, you might try rearranging the room or sitting in a different chair – anything that alters the context can help.

Second, you can disrupt a habit by changing the method of performance. In another study, the researchers found that asking habitual popcorn eaters who were in a movie theater to eat with their non-dominant hand, stopped them from eating the stale popcorn, too.

So if you can’t change the situation, you can change the way the habit gets executed. If you mindlessly eat or smoke with your right hand, try using your left. If you mindlessly drink from the glass that the bartender keeps refilling, try sitting at a table instead of the bar, so you’ll have to consciously get up and ask for a refill. Making the behavior a little more difficult or awkward to perform can be a great way to throw a wrench in the works.

Too often, we blame our failures on the wrong things. When it comes to ridding ourselves of bad habits, we usually chalk our difficulties up to a lack of commitment or willpower. But as I’ve argued in my new book, “Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals”, conquering your behavioral demons needs to start with understanding how they really work and applying the most effective strategy. In this case, success comes from not making it quite so easy for your autopilot to run the show.

Cooking with Robert: Mirasol’s Creative New Chef

March 10th, 2010

There have been big changes in Mirasol’s kitchen, thanks to our new chef, Robert Kuzyk. Kuzyk, who joined Mirasol’s kitchen staff after working in four-star restaurants at country clubs in Kansas and Arizona, believes in maintaining an “open kitchen” and encouraging clients to repair their relationships with food by becoming more involved in the process of creating it.

“What I like to do is help the clients overcome their fears of certain foods by actually cooking those foods with them,” says Kuzyk. “Learning how to cook those foods makes them more comfortable with them when they leave Mirasol and return to the
real world.”

Robert describes his work with Mirasol clients as a “building process”.

“The first step is getting them to trust me, and then walking them through the process of preparing the food, so that they realize that what they’re getting is nutritional, healthy food that also fits into their meal plans. I have prepared beef for women who haven’t eaten beef in six years. Even some women who are strict vegetarians have been persuaded to try fish, or shrimp or crabcakes.”

“Robert is very good at encouraging women to come into the kitchen little-by-little and maybe coaxing them to try something they haven’t tried before,” says Mirasol Clinical
Director Diane Ryan. “He’s also really great about teaching them to prepare foods they really like — maybe something they remember from childhood, like a special dessert or even just macaroni and cheese. And they can develop recipes and recreate those foods when they return home, and we find that’s really good for aftercare and for the recovery process in general.”

(more…)

Transformational Living Center Open House

July 6th, 2009

TLC Open HouseMirasol opened its new Transformational Living Center (TLC) on June 15, and just a few weeks later, we celebrated with an Open House in honor of Mirasol’s 10th Anniversary. Guests were invited to tour the new 10-bed facility, and to share a fabulous buffet prepared by Mirasol’s world-famous chefs.

TLC is a new program based on 10 years of research into the most effective options for eating disorder treatment and relapse prevention. Like Mirasol’s primary residential program, it combines traditional therapy with alternative therapies proven effective in the treatment of chronic stress-related conditions. However, TLC recognizes that not everyone can take time out for long-term residential care, so its flexible program emphasizes real world skills and therapies that can achieve rapid improvements in the client’s ability to cope with stress.

(more…)

An Intentional Life

July 1st, 2009

Chinese character for intentionThe Chinese symbol for “intention” is composed two distinct characters. The upper character means “present“ and the lower character means “heart“.

This morning I received a wonderful newsletter article from my friend, Donald Altman. I read it and read it again and I immediately saw the connection with my previous blog on “having a practice.”

“Intentions may be harmful, beneficial, or neutral in what they produce. Intentions are the seeds you plant to produce the eventual yield of your life. When repeated time and time again, the grooves created by intention turn into a habit. Habit then shapes your brain, your character, and life. The problem comes when intentions are unconscious or unheeded, and you are not the master of intentionality. One good easy way to create intentionality is to simply practice it. Set intentions throughout the day for breathing, walking, sitting, standing, driving, and talking.”
–Donald Altman, MA

Eating disorder recovery would be so simple if all we had to do was set our intentions throughout the day and then honor the intentions we have set. I would like all of my patients begin the day by setting their intentions with regards to food. They would set an intention to eat whole foods, in a healthy way, following their meal plans, and they would set their intentions for dealing with stress throughout the day.

(more…)