Did you answer yes to any of these questions?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to know that bullying leads to children’s eating disorders or other dysfunctional behaviors. More and more children are finding they need treatment for an eating disorder who are younger than 12.

Bullying is dangerous and can even lead to suicide. The internet has exposed the terrible truth about the effects of bullying. Remember, Phoebe Green, who hung herself at age 15 because of cyber bullying.

Only recently have we as health care professionals begun to look at the seriousness of bullying particularly after reported teenage suicides. Does your child use the internet? If so, be alert. Know that the internet has exposed the terrible truth about the effects of bullying, severe enough to drive some kids to self-harm or suicide.

Bullying effects millions of students but parents and teachers don’t understand the serious outcomes. When professionals or parents tell kids to ignore teasing, or to just get on with it, this not the kind of advice or understanding they need.

What does bullying looks like?

1. Emotional or verbal abuse looks like “Fatty fatty two by four, can’t get thru the kitchen door” or Piggy, piggy!
2. “Hey Jew boy.”
3. Cyber abuse is on Facebook where everyone from your school can see it.
4. Cruel emails can be sent from anywhere.

A person can be picked on by an individual or group with more power. Someone with more power may be peers, older kids, even teachers or parents. Bullies choose their victims because they look different, have a different religion, or are disabled. Bullies pick on a person simply because the person is shy or is gay or is a lesbian.

We must never forget that bullying is a severe form of abuse, i.e. emotional abuse, verbal and sexual abuse. Being excluded socially is a form of abuses. Verbal bullying, cruel email, or cyber-bullying (posting insults online) are forms of abuse.

Bullying like most forms of abuse is ongoing, like water dripping on a stone. The person being bullied lives in a constant state of fear. Everything in his or her life is affected. School work and health are both affected. A person being bullied can get stomach-aches, diarrhea, and headaches from the stress.
Kids abused by peers or family members can suffer from depression, low-self-esteem, and anxiety occasionally or a great deal of the time. They might even consider suicide!

Here are 8 tips to help you protect yourself from bullies. What advise will help if you feel bullied or know someone who is being bullied?

1. Tell someone about it, a teacher, a friend, a parent — tell anyone but tell right away.
2. Stick together with your friend who is being bullied — never leave him or her alone.
3. Learn to ignore the bully. Don’t add wood to the fire.
4. Don’t get physical (or angry) with the bully.
5. Practice feeling and looking confident. Posture is a give-away.
6. take small steps to be in charge of your life. This is where a good coach can help.
7. Talk about the bully and bullying to anyone and everyone. The more public you are, the bully will hide out.
8. Find true friends, friends that can offer you unconditional friendship.

If you’re a kid, find an adult who can guide you step by step through the process of taking charge of your life.

As you grow in confidence, you’ll stand taller knowing that no one will bully you again.

I have always tried not to use another person’s material when writing my blog, but this article is so exceptional, I need to share it with everyone!! It comes from a website, www.eatingforlife.org.

What to do if you think someone may have an eating disorder
Eating disorders are not about the food. There is always a deeper problem that is causing the person to focus so intently on food. The eating disorder is the outward manifestation signaling that there is an inner problem (e.g. self-esteem, family issues, depression, anxiety). An eating disorder is a person’s attempted solution to that problem. The eating disorder will begin to go away when the inner problem is addressed, and usually counseling is helpful in this process.

Make sure you approach the person one-on-one. If a group of you is concerned, it is very important that one person be chosen to talk with the friend. Group confrontation can make a person feel “ganged up on” and can cause a friend to feel betrayed, as if everyone has been talking about them. The goal is to support your friend, and often a group confrontation can leave a person feeling like they have been betrayed by their support system.

Make a plan to approach your friend in a private place. Try to choose a non-stressful environment where you will have time to talk at length, if necessary.

Present what you have observed and what your concerns are in a non-confrontational, caring way. Tell him or her that you are worried because of what you have noticed and that you would like to offer some help. Stay away from saying “we’ve been talking and are worried” – focus on what you yourself have seen, it is less threatening. (Friends who are too angry or hurt to talk supportively should not be the ones to confront.)

Offer human company and empathy. You don’t need to agree with the person’s feelings or stance. There is a place for challenge, advice, information, pep talks, jokes, and confrontation. Generally, that place is after she or he feels her or his experience is understood and accepted for what it is.

Listen carefully and non-judgmentally. Give the person time to hear what you have to say and to verbalize their feelings. Ask clarifying questions and then accept whatever they have to say without judgment. Encourage him or her to talk about their feelings.

Do not argue about whether or not there is a problem. Power struggles are not helpful. You could say, “I hear what you are saying and I hope that you are right and that this is not a problem. But I am still concerned about what I have seen and heard because I care about you.” (It is best not to say what other people feel or what they have noticed. Speak with “I” statements.)

Do not lay guilt trips, like “Look what you are doing to your family or roommates”. We are each responsible for our own feelings. Bear in mind that people with eating disorders yearn to know that someone could both know the worst about them and love them and care about them anyway.

If the person denies the problem, becomes angry, or refuses treatment, understand that this is often a part of the illness. They have a right to refuse (UNLESS their life is in danger). You may feel helpless and angry. You might say, “I know you can refuse to go for help, but that won’t stop me from being concerned. I may bring this up again later – maybe we can talk about it then.” Follow through on this, and other promises you might make. Your friend may need time to process what you have said to them. Don’t expect an immediate positive response, the important thing is to follow through and be consistent.

Provide information and resources for treatment. Make sure that you brush up on your knowledge of eating disorders before you talk to your friend, and be sure to offer resources to your friend. Encourage her or him to see a counselor, nutritionist, or physician and offer to go with them to the first appointment. Remember that recovery is a long process. It may take a while before your friend is feeling better and it is important for you to remain supportive throughout the entire recovery process.

Do not try to be the hero or rescuer – you may be resented. If you do the best you can to help on several occasions and the person does not accept it, stop. This does not mean stop being aware of their behavior, but you have done all it is reasonable to do. Eating disorders are stubborn problems, and treatment is most effective when the person is truly ready for it. You may have planted a seed that helps them get ready.

Make sure you get support for yourself. It can be difficult to live with someone who is dealing with an eating disorder. Get the information and support that you need.

For continuing support of your friend:
Remember that she or he is more than the eating disorder. Don’t let it become an identity – focus on his or her other characteristics that make them great. The more you help him or her identify his or her positive attributes, the easier it will be to let go of the “eating disorder” identity.

Don’t be afraid of conflicts or problems. These areas need to be brought out into the open, not hidden. Be sure to keep lines of communication open.

Do not focus on weight gained or lost. Focus more on their mental state. If you say, “you look thin” you are focusing on appearance and feeding into their behavior. If you say, “you look healthy” she or he may think you are saying, “you look fat.”

Don’t focus on achievements – grades, promotions, etc. Instead, talk about his or her inner qualities and strengths. Set an example – be good to yourself and she or he will see that it is possible.

Stay positive! People do recover from eating disorders. Many people who recover acknowledge the importance of friends who believed in them and kept trying to reach out to them.

Women’s Resource Center
Boston College

This article hit me on two different levels.

1- In our struggles with insurance companies I often find myself wondering how they fail to realize that investing in solid treatment will not only lead to lowering the suffering of the individual we are working with, but also in the long run save insurance companies money in the long term health problems which result from eating disorder behaviors.

2-This study states “that obesity prevention programs that stigmatize obesity or create a sense of blame can actually contribute to eating disorders.” Goes along with awareness of weight bias.

Dear Jeanne,

I am a former Mirasol client from back in 2007. After a lifetime of sickness with an extreme case of anorexia, I finally found a treatment center that not only worked for me, but gave me my life back and allowed me to flourish since I left four years ago. In those four years I have earned my master’s degree in advanced practice nursing and am now a family nurse practitioner.

Words cannot adequately express how much my time and experience at Mirasol meant to me, and there has not been a day that has gone by since I left where I haven’t thought about it. Not only was it the beginning of my recovery and healing journey, but it introduced me to the world of holistic and alternative medicine, reignited my interest in health care, and was the inspiration for my application to nurse practitioner programs.

I felt accepted, understood, nurtured, and most of all LOVED by the people I encountered at Mirasol, and that is why I was able to heal there. I firmly believe that everything I’ve been through with my eating disorder has been for a reason, and has led me to a path of wanting to give back what was so generously given to me. No matter where I end up working I know that I will carry my Mirasol experience with me forever, and it will always be there guiding my approach to patient care.

All my love to you,

J. S.

—Howard Thurman

By Dr. Sharon Meglathery

I am a traditionally trained, East Coast physician with board certification in both internal medicine and psychiatry. However, when I arrived at Mirasol, I knew little about complementary, alternative or naturopathic medicine, and essentially nothing about holistic treatment of eating disorders. I had been taught that eating disorders were very dangerous and difficult to treat, and that other than fluoxetine (Prozac) for bingeing and purging, off-label use of atypical antipsychotics for irrational thinking and appetite stimulation, and topiramate for appetite suppression, no medications have proven very effective for treating these dangerous conditions.

Arriving with an open mind, I was greeted during my first psychiatric evaluation by a very guarded, hostile young woman who quickly informed me that she had chosen Mirasol because she never again wanted to be controlled or tortured by psychiatrists in a “so called treatment center,” and that there was no way she would take any medication. My floundering attempt to extract any useful information — I had given up on any chance of prescribing anything — was dramatically interrupted by the screeching of another patient who had accidentally sprayed liquid soap into her eye. My attempt to help by providing a bowl of water for irrigation of the eye was immediately rejected as a reckless attempt to cause further harm by infecting the eye. Caring attention from both staff and other patients had little effect on the inconsolable crying which was punctuated by demands to be taken to the emergency room. As I cycled through feelings of helplessness, anger, and frustration, I remembered what had been repeated over and over during my psychotherapy residence: the emotions provoked in the provider by the patient often reflect what the patient is experiencing. My initial impulse to retreat was replaced by intrigue and a sense of challenge. It was going to be very enlightening to see how the other providers worked with these women. It was going to take more than behavioral modification and 15-minute med checks to effect lasting change.

My first two patients had demonstrated several fundamental truths about people with eating disorders:

• They are in tremendous — and not easily consoled — psychic pain which is expressed in a variety of primal and harmful ways.
• The behaviors of the patients themselves, and the relationships they form with the doctor, staff and other patients, are fraught with transference (which can be a powerful tool).
• The medical establishment’s use of coercive and punitive measures with these patients (ultimatums, feeding tubes, medication to affect appetite, etc.) does little to promote healing while eroding whatever trust the patient may have initially had.

For me, establishing rapport is the essential first step. I often think of the life-saving advice that one should not swim toward shore perpendicular to a riptide, but rather parallel to the shore until the riptide has passed. Butting heads with the patient is like swimming against the riptide; finding some commonality allows you and the patient to eventually swim together toward the shore.

As the provider who assesses patients when they arrive and then when they depart, I have been amazed at the changes I have observed firsthand. Why do so many patients who have “failed treatment” at the “best” of treatment facilities finally succeed at Mirasol? I believe it’s because we establish ourselves as trustworthy, caring and competent providers with a wide range of skills. We look for the deep-rooted cause/meaning of the eating disorder and help the patient process this as part of her life narrative. We enhance personal, positive development and empower patients to surrender their eating disorders and enjoy the natural and normal bodily sensations associated with food. The clients leave Mirasol as more developed, competent women who are able to experience their emotions fully and safely, and who are better equipped to handle life’s challenges. And, from now on, because they will choose to eat in a healthy manner, they will attain long-term medical and psychiatric balance.

]]> http://edrecovery.com/swimming-in-the-rip-tide-an-eating-disorder-psychiatrists-journey/feed/ 1 http://edrecovery.com/neurofeedback-the-king-of-holistic-treatment/ http://edrecovery.com/neurofeedback-the-king-of-holistic-treatment/#comments Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:38:18 +0000 jrust http://edrecovery.com/?p=180 This is the second article in a series about holistic treatment.   In this article I will discuss neurofeedback which — probably more than any other modality — dramatically illustrates the mind/body connection.

By Dr. Jeanne Rust

Thousands of people have benefited from neurofeedback, a therapeutic training tool that is very effective in the treatment of ADD, ADHD, epilepsy, fibromyalgia, head injury, substance abuse, eating disorders and chronic pain. Not only does neurofeedback alleviate a variety of emotional problems and physical ailments, but it does so without invasive procedures or the need to take expensive and potentially addictive medications.

Neurofeedback improves the formation of essential neuro-pathways in the brain, actually reconditioning and retraining brainwave patterns. Psychological testing and brain mapping (QEEG) show any abnormalities in brain function. During the training sessions, clients learn to normalize their brainwave patterns through feedback, coaching and practice.

During typical neurofeedback training, sensors are placed on the scalp and/or ear lobes. An EEG unit provides instantaneous audio and visual display of brain wave activity. This “feedback” allows the individual to alter brain activity, increasing or decreasing certain frequencies in order to function most efficiently for the task at hand. The client literally learns how to train the brain to function with greater control and stability through self-regulation.

Frank H. Duffy, M.D., a Professor and Pediatric Neurologist at Harvard Medical School, stated in an editorial in the January, 2000, issue of the Journal of Clinical Electroencephalography that scholarly literature now suggests that neurofeedback “should play a major therapeutic role in many difficult areas. In my opinion, if any medication had demonstrated such a wide spectrum of efficacy it would be universally accepted and widely used. It is a field to be taken seriously by all.”

Neurofeedback can also be used for performance enhancement, improving memory skills and increasing concentration, and focusing abilities. When combined with conventional treatments, neurofeedback results in very low relapse rates as it seems to function as a form of “mental antabuse.” The overall success rate of neurofeedback training is reported to be more than 85% for some disorders, including eating disorders and substance abuse.

Neurofeedback has been used in the treatment of alcoholism, helping clients achieve relaxed states by increasing alpha and theta brainwaves and reducing fast beta brainwaves. A 1990 study by Peniston and Kulkosky found that after four years, 80% of alcoholics treated with traditional methods had relapsed, whereas 80% of the experimental group who received neurofeedback in conjunction with regular treatment were still sober. Since over 40% of all eating disordered patients also have issues with substance abuse, neurofeedback is an extremely effective treatment modality.

For the treatment of ADD and ADHD, Rossiter and LaVaque (1995) found that 20 sessions of neurofeedback produced the same improvements in attention as taking Ritalin. A 2002 study with a one- year follow-up by Monastr, et al, discovered that neurofeedback was far superior to Ritalin.

Neurofeedback’s time has come, and more and more treatment centers and pain clinics are confidently offering neurofeedback to their clients. Mirasol pioneered the use of neurofeedback in the treatment of eating disorders and remains a center for research on the use of neurofeedback as an alternative to psychotropic medications. Not all medications need to be eliminated – indeed, they are absolutely necessary in many cases. But we have also found that people can actually retrain their brains so they may use much lower dosages of medication and even in some cases none at all.

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