Wherever You Go, There You are!

May 1st, 2012

Growing up, I moved every few years, sometimes more often. No, my family was not in the military. It is a rather complicated story, but basically my father worked away from home in an industry that made him move frequently. I bounced between my mom and dad, sometimes several times within the same school year. On one hand, this made it difficult to develop substantial relationships with friends, always being the new kid on the block. I tended to be guarded against becoming too attached to people, because I knew it would not be long before I would leave. However, I eventually adapted by deciding moving would be a chance to start over with a clean slate.

I maintained this pattern of moving even when I became an emancipated minor in my late teens. It became a fairly predictable cycle. Move. Start fresh. Get stale. Move again. At seventeen, I picked up and moved from Maine to Washington State. Today, I would probably be terrified of making such a drastic change on a whim, but I was officially an adult, at least according to the courts, and I was more than ready to start over –again! When I moved to Washington, it took less than two months before my fresh start became stale.
You see, I had already established myself as a revolving door patient, in and out of one eating disorder program to the next. I always had a team of therapists, doctors, dieticians, etc… My friendships started out where I presented myself as a young and intelligent go-getter, and I was. However, I also tried to pretend I did not have any issues. Eventually, I would “purge” out all of my deepest, darkest secrets, usually overwhelming the one or two people who I would allow to know the real me. Once I burned out the friends, treatment providers, and programs in the area, I would start looking for the next place to start fresh. I honestly thought I would eventually move out of the eating disorder and into recovery.

The problem with my theory was this; you cannot run from yourself! “Wherever you go, there you are!” It took a good ten years (and at least ten more moves) before I realized my theory of moving away from my problems was not an effective remedy. For all of those years, I had hoped I would find the magical therapist or treatment center that would cure me. It never occurred to me that I was the one who had to save me. I was never actually taught that I held the key to change. Perhaps I was and I just could not swallow that in my fairy tale version of recovery, where someone was supposed to sweep in to rescue me from myself.
I have had ample opportunity to gather tools, resources, and skills. Treatment centers, such as Mirasol, provide a chance to break free from unhealthy and ineffective patterns while in a safe, supportive environment. Hopefully, you develop a positive relationship with the treatment providers who arm you with recovery tools and skills that you can utilize when you leave treatment. You gain insight, confidence, and an opportunity to exercise your recovery muscles as you experiment with applying your new skills before you graduate and venture back to your life outside of treatment. This is what a great treatment program does best! You are taught how to accept, cope, and thrive in the ebb and flow of life. You learn that when push comes to shove, you are your greatest ally as much as you were your greatest enemy.

Here is where I had a major disconnect. My tool belt looked a little too picture perfect. I had all of the tools in the right places, but I never used them on the job. Basically, I had a really hard time helping myself. I just kept gathering tools and not using them! I thought I would be a whole new person when I found the right treatment program. They were going to take all of my issues, crumble them up, and do away with them completely—you know, like magic! Ta-dah! They were going to transform me! After an effective treatment experience, I realized the magic of recovery is being willing to take what you are given and work it. You have to grab the tools out of your tool belt and continue to build your new identity and lifestyle one brick at a time. If you want to recover, there is no way around this.

There is a lot more to building a home than laying a foundation and framing the structure! There is also a lot more to the process to building your recovery than going into treatment. Starting treatment is a courageous first step, but the journey requires putting one foot in front of the other, over and over and over, especially when you leave treatment.

Chances are that you (or your family member) will not leave treatment cured, completely free of all urges, forever. Recovery presents challenges, especially during periods of transitions. Even if outdated and no longer useful, there is often an urge to retreat to old ways of coping during times of change. Graduating from treatment is one of the first major transitions that will call upon your recovery tenacity and patience. You will have to apply and re-apply your skills, even when no one is watching. You do not have to make the commitment forever. Today is enough. When things are especially difficult, I always seek comfort in the fact that today is the only day I really have. Stubborn and tough as nails, I can get through anything, at least for today.

Shaping new behavior and thought patterns are not easy tasks. We are creatures of habit, so it is only natural to require a lot of practice and repetition to unlearn one habit and replace it with a new behavior. For example, I have been using “paper or plastic” at the grocery store for over a decade. I have had reusable tote bags in my car for well over a year now. I want to use less plastic, but only over the last few weeks have I ever remembered to bring the canvas totes into the store with me, so I could actually use less plastic. I would usually only remember my totes while checking out or while loading groceries into my car. I am finally learning to enter the store with tote bags in hand.

As you pack your bags, whether figuratively or metaphorically, remember this…Wherever you go, there you are. Break open your tool box, put on your tool belt, grab the tools you need for the job, and build your life one day at a time.

For my next guest blog contribution, I am going to introduce to you a coping tool that is also always with you wherever you go, so stay tuned!

Heather Purdin, M.Ed., RYT

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Discrimination Against People Who Are Obese Runs Rampant in the US

April 19th, 2012

I’ve got a riddle for you.

Who is it that we see working mostly at night, eating sugary and greasy food?

What is it that makes people cringe in disgust when they see them?

What is it that is the butt of bad jokes?

Who is it that earns less money?

Who is it that is denied health insurance?

Who is unhappy and miserable all the time?

Who is it that continually faces negative attitudes and prejudice?

Who is it that has no self-control, is lazy, stupid and ugly?

The last socially acceptable prejudice is against fat people.

Americans are heavier and heavier. Fast food, junk food, greasy food, and sugary foods rather than being treats now constitute the bulk of an American’s diet. Even though Americans are getting fatter, the ideal body shape is getting thinner. Because the differences between fat people and thin people are growing greater, the prejudice against heavy people is becoming greater.

Fat people are unhappy and miserable not because they’re facing health threats but because of prejudice and negative attitudes. Overweight people start to hate themselves, can develop eating disorders, and injure themselves through fad diets repeated over and over.

Overweight men and women are discriminated against in the workplace, are either not hired or are paid lower wages because they’re fat. They are denied health insurance because of their weight. Everyone around them, family, friends, and even strangers will shout epithets such as Fatty while constantly judging them.

The media is not kind to heavy people. They might be on TV but they are not the stars of the show. They are less likely to date or to have sex.

Discrimination is shown in three areas: education, health care, and in the workplace. 28% of teachers believe that being obese is one of the worst things that can happen to a person; 24% of nurses said they found obese people to be ‘repulsive.” Many physicians, dietitians, and mental health professionals are prejudiced towards people that are obese. How many times have we heard an eating disorder patient say that he/she would rather be dead than fat?

Can you image going to your doctor’s office and seeing the nurse or the doctor himself recoil when he begins to treat you?

I have written previously about helping heavy people become accepting of themselves. I have also written before about the discrimination and prejudice against fat people, including adults and children and each time I do, I feel angry and more than a little ill.

I teach my staff that each one of these women is a child of God. I ask for them to look for that tiny light inside of them that is covered up by the huge house. Once they see the little light, they know that there is a sensitive, fearful person in there.

Some of the most spiritual work a psychotherapist can do is to treat someone who is obese. We can treat these special clients with dignity and respect. We might not help them lose weight, but we can treat them honorably while they are learning to respect themselves.

As a nation, support the National Association To Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA). The mission of NAAFA is to provide equal opportunity for fat people wherever discrimination is present. We need to help NAAFA have a broader presence because so many people in the US today are obese.

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The Power of One

April 11th, 2012

The Power of ONE

Dear Survivor,

As a therapist who treats eating disorders, I have worked with many women, men, and families who fought to overcome their illness and reclaim a life beyond calorie obsessions, food phobias, and irrational fear of weight gain. Often, when they first made the courageous effort to step into my office, they would ask, “What can I do to fix this problem?” For years I struggled to answer this question due to the sheer number of issues involved, and the unique and complex way this illness affects each individual. However, my clients have taught me a great deal about recovery, and my answer is now fairly simple: it involves the concept of the Power of ONE.

Recovery from an eating disorder can be a long and challenging process, so if you are feeling discouraged or overwhelmed about beginning or continuing this journey, just remember the Power of ONE:

to take ONE second, minute, or day at a time,
to set ONE goal at a time,
to have ONE conversation at a time,
to deal with ONE problem at a time,
to eat ONE more bite or meal than you are prepared for,
to resist ONE more binge episode,
to reduce your number of purge episodes by ONE more,
to make ONE more healthy choice,
to establish ONE treatment team that you can rely on,
to find at least ONE passion that gives you the desire to fight for your life,
to reach out to ONE friend at a time,
to take your medicine ONE more day,
to do ONE fun thing you enjoy,
to find ONE more thing you appreciate about your body,
to dream about ONE life worth living,
to take ONE more breath in order to calm yourself down,
to find ONE solution to a problem and then ONE more if necessary,
to get up ONE more time than you fall down,
to remember ONE more person who loves you,
to go to ONE more doctor’s appointment,
to follow your meal plan for ONE more meal,
to talk back to ED ONE more time,
to take ONE more break if you need to
and then continue to put ONE foot in front of the other even when you feel discouraged,
to find ONE more reason to survive this illness,
to remember ONE successful thing you accomplished today,
to remember ONE more good quality you possess,
to create ONE balanced lifestyle,
to trust your body and treat it right for ONE more day,
to set ONE more boundary to protect yourself,
to confront ONE more person if you need to,
to stand up for yourself ONE more time,
to identify and process ONE more emotion at a time,
to defy ONE more myth about eating disorders,
to recognize ONE more unrealistic expectation and re-define it to something that is useful to you,
and to define, reclaim, and embrace the ONE and only you who is good enough, caring enough, attractive enough, smart enough, successful enough, funny enough, healthy enough, and powerful enough to create ONE life worth living with the ultimate goal of being ONE more person who did what it takes each and every day to survive this illness.

Sincerely,
Someone who believes in you

By: Tamara Richardson, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, part-time private practice clinician in Stillwater, Oklahoma, and a senior clinical counselor at Oklahoma State

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Operation Beautiful

April 7th, 2012

I met Heather Purdin on line and I have come to love her writing about eating disorders. She was a volunteer for Operation Beautiful which is a wonderful idea. I told her how much I admired her writing and asked her if she would blog once a week for Mirasol. She said, “Yes.” Her depth of knowledge about eating disorders is remarkable. I know you’ll enjoy her!

Operation Beautiful™: Mission Accomplished!
Heather Purdin, M.Ed., CTRS, RYT

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” —Margaret Mead

Sometimes it is the smallest gestures that have the most profound impact. Who would have thought a post-it note with a short and sweet message such as “You are Beautiful!” would lead to a national trend?

Caitlin Boyle certainly did not, but that did not stop her from sewing the seed that has now become the masterpiece known as, Operation Beautiful™.

Her goal was to combat the societal epidemic of negative self-talk by countering it with a positive message. She first left the messages on mirrors in public restrooms at her work, gym, and local grocery store. She hoped, “Maybe some people read them and just smile, but I bet some people are truly touched by the effort of a random stranger.”

Caitlin eventually created a website and began putting the web address on the notes so people could join the mission as a community. In the battle against toxic self-talk, the Operation Beautiful™ website is a sort of headquarters always recruiting more soldiers to walk the talk!

Glamour Magazine, Women’s Day, Oprah Winfrey Network, and The Today Show have all taken notice. Today, Caitlin’s website receives thousands of hits from across the Globe from others who contribute to the cause. This time featuring inspirational messages geared toward girls 8-14, Caitlin just wrote her second book: Operation Beautiful™ for Best Friends. (Remember, this all started with a simple post-it note and a positive mind.)

I joined the cause two years ago when I discovered an Operation Beautiful™ note. Since, I have helped organize three “Operation Beautiful™” benefits with my band, reaching hundreds of attendees. Hopefully, some of these folks have gone on to spread the positivity. Regardless, the funds raised have been passed onto Project HEAL: Help to Eat, Accept, & Live, a nonprofit organization started by three brilliant teenagers that helps individuals battling eating disorders access the treatment they need.

Prevention + Intervention = REAL HOPE!

YOU can become part of the equation, part of the solution, and here is how:

What supplies do I need? This is the best part! This activity is incredibly accessible because it requires inexpensive items common to most households. Traditional supplies include: post-it notes as well as pens, pencils, gel pens, and/or markers. There are all sorts of shapes, sizes, and colors of post-it notes you can look for if you want to invest a few dollars into the project. You can always incorporate stickers too.

What do I write and where do I post the notes? Get creative and even animated. You can spread around your favorite quotes or make up your own encouraging messages. If you struggle with self-image yourself, just imagine what it is you might really need to hear today and then spread the love! You can embellish your messages by adding doodles, using different color combinations, and even drawing quick sketches to help your message capture one’s attention. It really comes down to how many notes you want to make and how much time you have to devote to the project.

People are now expanding the mission by using chalk on sidewalks and using non-permanent markets to draw directly on mirrors. Just be careful to respect public and private property by using methods that can easily be removed. By the way, if you walk by later and find your message is missing, it may have been picked up and taken home by someone who really needed it!

If you leave the www.operationbeautiful.com website on the post-it, people can learn more about this mission. You can also leave the website of an eating disorder non-profit organization. Regardless of your choice, just keep this to positive propaganda please!

Below is a list of 15 possible locations, as well as examples of what you might write.

1. Bathroom mirrors (Look in the mirror and repeat after me, “You are beautiful!”)
2. Dressing room mirrors (Objects in the mirror are more beautiful than they appear!)
3. Bathroom stalls (Size does not matter. Love yourself always and forever!)
4. Lockers in the gym or at school (Go out into the world knowing you are loved)
5. Scales at the gym (A mind is a terrible thing to waste and a waist is a terrible thing to mind.)
6. Diet and beauty product aisles at the store (You are magnificent just the way you are.)
7. Diet ads or Photoshopped images on magazine covers (REAL beauty is who you are!)
8. Self-help books at the library or bookstore (Rock Steady!)
9. Ice-cream shops (Life is short; eat dessert first!)
10. Children’s toy packages that encourage unrealistic body image (You are the twinkle in the stars.)
11. Public bulletin boards (You can do anything you set your mind too!)
12. Gas pumps (“Don’t worry about a thing. Every little thing is gonna be alright” –Bob Marley)
13. Random car windows in the parking lot (Smile! It’s beautiful and contagious.)
14. Inside your cabinet doors (You deserve to enjoy your life.)
15. On your refrigerator (Nourish your mind, body, and soul. Breathe deeply & repeat!)

Whether you run a treatment program, suffer from an eating disorder, have a loved one battling an eating disorder, or have recovered from one, you have wisdom to share, so go out and share it! My partner surprised me with a note a few days before we held our first Operation Beautiful™ benefit and I still cherish it!

One you get started, the ideas will start running and you might even have a difficult time keeping up with yourself. Remember, this will benefit you and someone else! It’s like feeding two birds with one seed. Beautiful indeed!

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Interview of David Herzog as Done by Huffington Post

April 3rd, 2012

My guest blog today was another article I found on the Huffington Post. This one is by David Herzog who I’ve always considered as one of the Rock Stars of the Eating Disorder world. David Herzog, M.D., founded the Harris Center for Education and Advocacy in Eating Disorders. He is one of the foremost researchers in the field of eating disorders. He has been a great influence on me in how I view eating disorders. Here is the interview from the Huff Post:

Which of the Harris Center’s recent achievements are you most proud of?

One of the questions that frequently came up [among patients] early on, was, “What is going to happen to my daughter or me in one year or five years or 10 years, whether I get treatment or I don’t. Will I ever recover from this?” In 1987 we were funded by the National Institute of Mental Health, the NIMH, to do a prospective follow-up study of 246 women with anorexia and bulimia. We are now in the 25th year of mapping the course of their disorders, what happens over time. So that’s what’s going on currently.
What findings has the study yielded up to this point?

So far we’ve been able to determine, unfortunately, the severity of this illness. In the first 11 years of the study, 10 of the 136 women with anorexia nervosa died. These were young women. And we wouldn’t have known that they had died if we weren’t following them. They weren’t necessarily in treatment — they might have gone for 3 months or been in psychotherapy or stopped and then started — but we were going to record all of it so at least we would know what [care] they had. It gave us a chance to look at who gets better. What are the factors that predict better outcomes or worse outcomes? I’m not sure we know that there’s a specific treatment for the illness — you take this and you do this, and you so-called “get better.” That is an area that we keep working on.”

This year and in previous years, you’ve invited members of the fashion industry, including Anna Wintour, Diane von Furstenberg and several models, to speak at the Harris Center’s annual Public Forum. What’s your thinking there?

There’s obviously an interest in the fashion world because there is concern that [it] is a factor in the rise of eating disorders. So I was able to make contact with Anna Wintour, and she organized the panel [in 2010] with Michael Kors and [supermodel] Natalie Vodianova to come here and talk about that. To [take on] the issues, [ask], “What’s going on here?” [The discussion] partly had to do with the safety of models and partly had to do with impact of all this on the greater public. Though I’m always concerned about individuals and I don’t want models to suffer more than anyone else, my bigger concern truthfully is the [effect] on the whole society idealizing these figures, these models, these images, which fosters this “too thin” ideal.

For me working with the fashion industry is an opportunity to learn. There’s always this fear that you’re going to be seen as a colluder, but to make change in the fashion world is very much [about] chipping away. You can’t go in with a sledgehammer. The fact that Anna was here was a big step. Sometimes working with the industry is more effective than just purely attacking it.

Do we have a way of measuring the impact of media on rates of eating disorders?

I don’t think if we change the media, that suddenly there aren’t going to be eating disorders. But we’re continually gathering data about the rates of eating disorders whether that’s increasing or stabilizing. Individuals who develop eating disorders are not necessarily glued to fashion magazines. So how do you understand the impact of media?

There’s another piece of this that the new Israeli law [banning underweight models from local advertising and requiring disclosure of photoshopping] kind of got into, the digitalizing of images. Are we going to police every image out there? I’m not pushing for federal legislation. I’m pushing for more information.

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