Wherever You Go, There You are!
May 1st, 2012 jrust
Growing up, I moved every few years, sometimes more often. No, my family was not in the military. It is a rather complicated story, but basically my father worked away from home in an industry that made him move frequently. I bounced between my mom and dad, sometimes several times within the same school year. On one hand, this made it difficult to develop substantial relationships with friends, always being the new kid on the block. I tended to be guarded against becoming too attached to people, because I knew it would not be long before I would leave. However, I eventually adapted by deciding moving would be a chance to start over with a clean slate.
I maintained this pattern of moving even when I became an emancipated minor in my late teens. It became a fairly predictable cycle. Move. Start fresh. Get stale. Move again. At seventeen, I picked up and moved from Maine to Washington State. Today, I would probably be terrified of making such a drastic change on a whim, but I was officially an adult, at least according to the courts, and I was more than ready to start over –again! When I moved to Washington, it took less than two months before my fresh start became stale.
You see, I had already established myself as a revolving door patient, in and out of one eating disorder program to the next. I always had a team of therapists, doctors, dieticians, etc… My friendships started out where I presented myself as a young and intelligent go-getter, and I was. However, I also tried to pretend I did not have any issues. Eventually, I would “purge” out all of my deepest, darkest secrets, usually overwhelming the one or two people who I would allow to know the real me. Once I burned out the friends, treatment providers, and programs in the area, I would start looking for the next place to start fresh. I honestly thought I would eventually move out of the eating disorder and into recovery.
The problem with my theory was this; you cannot run from yourself! “Wherever you go, there you are!” It took a good ten years (and at least ten more moves) before I realized my theory of moving away from my problems was not an effective remedy. For all of those years, I had hoped I would find the magical therapist or treatment center that would cure me. It never occurred to me that I was the one who had to save me. I was never actually taught that I held the key to change. Perhaps I was and I just could not swallow that in my fairy tale version of recovery, where someone was supposed to sweep in to rescue me from myself.
I have had ample opportunity to gather tools, resources, and skills. Treatment centers, such as Mirasol, provide a chance to break free from unhealthy and ineffective patterns while in a safe, supportive environment. Hopefully, you develop a positive relationship with the treatment providers who arm you with recovery tools and skills that you can utilize when you leave treatment. You gain insight, confidence, and an opportunity to exercise your recovery muscles as you experiment with applying your new skills before you graduate and venture back to your life outside of treatment. This is what a great treatment program does best! You are taught how to accept, cope, and thrive in the ebb and flow of life. You learn that when push comes to shove, you are your greatest ally as much as you were your greatest enemy.
Here is where I had a major disconnect. My tool belt looked a little too picture perfect. I had all of the tools in the right places, but I never used them on the job. Basically, I had a really hard time helping myself. I just kept gathering tools and not using them! I thought I would be a whole new person when I found the right treatment program. They were going to take all of my issues, crumble them up, and do away with them completely—you know, like magic! Ta-dah! They were going to transform me! After an effective treatment experience, I realized the magic of recovery is being willing to take what you are given and work it. You have to grab the tools out of your tool belt and continue to build your new identity and lifestyle one brick at a time. If you want to recover, there is no way around this.
There is a lot more to building a home than laying a foundation and framing the structure! There is also a lot more to the process to building your recovery than going into treatment. Starting treatment is a courageous first step, but the journey requires putting one foot in front of the other, over and over and over, especially when you leave treatment.
Chances are that you (or your family member) will not leave treatment cured, completely free of all urges, forever. Recovery presents challenges, especially during periods of transitions. Even if outdated and no longer useful, there is often an urge to retreat to old ways of coping during times of change. Graduating from treatment is one of the first major transitions that will call upon your recovery tenacity and patience. You will have to apply and re-apply your skills, even when no one is watching. You do not have to make the commitment forever. Today is enough. When things are especially difficult, I always seek comfort in the fact that today is the only day I really have. Stubborn and tough as nails, I can get through anything, at least for today.
Shaping new behavior and thought patterns are not easy tasks. We are creatures of habit, so it is only natural to require a lot of practice and repetition to unlearn one habit and replace it with a new behavior. For example, I have been using “paper or plastic” at the grocery store for over a decade. I have had reusable tote bags in my car for well over a year now. I want to use less plastic, but only over the last few weeks have I ever remembered to bring the canvas totes into the store with me, so I could actually use less plastic. I would usually only remember my totes while checking out or while loading groceries into my car. I am finally learning to enter the store with tote bags in hand.
As you pack your bags, whether figuratively or metaphorically, remember this…Wherever you go, there you are. Break open your tool box, put on your tool belt, grab the tools you need for the job, and build your life one day at a time.
For my next guest blog contribution, I am going to introduce to you a coping tool that is also always with you wherever you go, so stay tuned!
Heather Purdin, M.Ed., RYT
Try this: 15 minutes Daily Moving Meditation
April 25th, 2012 jrust
5 mins preparation:
Chose the time of the day that you have more energy and a place that you can move freely. If you can be outside, do so. If not, bring nature inside with a flower vase, a picture of a landscape, sounds of water, etc.
Light up a perfumed candle, insence or just spray the air with your favorite fragance. I love to use sage! Get that music that you really love to hear. Drink water.
5 Minutes – journaling
As the music starts to play, seat and write down your deepest thoughts and feelings by scaning your body for sensations. Perhaps a tighteness on the neck or a stiffnesss on the back? Write what comes to your mind and a healing intention. What do you need? Perhaps courage? Peace? More laugher? Pain relief? Write that down on the paper.
5 mins – moving & breathing
As the song continues to play, stand up and start moving – it does not matter if it is fast or slow – just feel the music and let it dance you. For every movement – a breath.
Begin by shifting your body weight from side to side. Focus on on body part at a time. Start on the feet, then knees, legs, hips, torso, arms, hands, head.
Like the waves in the ocean, never stop, let one move folow another, until the music ends. BREATH.
Perhaps you will feel the need to do it longer. So, let the music repeat. At the end, come to center by aligning your feet, hip width apart, knees slightly bent.
Lay your hands on your belly as you say a mental THANK YOU for being alive.
Write down how you feel changed. This naturally and profoundly moves you to transcend into becoming your higher self, who can create the best solution for you and achieve your greater good – every moment in your life – always rightly synchronizing with the universe’s power to change what is wrong to what is more right for you than you ever imagined.
Moving Meditation
April 25th, 2012 jrust
Hozuhni is one of my favorite, favorite websites! Hozuhni teaches us about moving meditation. I thought all of my readers would love this1
I read a Buddhist story about two monks walking down a country road. They came to a stream and there was a woman trying to cross. She explained that she was afraid to attempt the crossing and one of the monks offered to carry her across. She thanked him and they all walked on to their own destinations. After about an hour of walking, the monk who did not carry the woman across the water said “How could you touch that woman? That is not right!!!” The other monk said “I put her down on the other side of the stream. It seems that you are still carrying her.” The first monk was helpful and did not think of it again but the other monk was in judgment.
Being in the moment is a hard task to achieve unless you practice it. The way I practice is by paying attention on my body: the way I am breathing, walking, feeling, my posture, my feet…
In order to develop a full awareness of the present moment I like to meditate in motion, when I can expand the sensations of the body through my senses.
This habit puts me in alignment with the moment.
However, when a moment shows up, that is not so attractive, I use this 10-10-10 rule:
What difference will this make in 10 days? What difference will this make in 10 months? What difference will this make in 10 years?
Shift your perception so that you always have wonderful moments.
Dove’s Self-Esteem Body-Image Program
April 23rd, 2012 jrust
This is information on the program that Dove (soap) just launched in England. I’d love it if we could get a discussion started her in response to their 4 questions!
Dove recently relaunched their self-esteem/body image program in the UK (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElKFK6rRHNY&feature=relmfu andhttp://www.dove.co.uk/dsep/support-tools/workshops.html ).
According to Dove, this program has already reached over 800 000 young people and they aim to reach one million by the end of 2012. Evidence for the effectiveness of previous versions has not been overwhelming positive in terms of the program’s ability to improve self-esteem and reduce body dissatisfaction among adolescents (see Richardson, Paxton, & Thomson, 2009). This is just one example of the many body image and eating disorder prevention programs that are being disseminated without a strong evidence base.
Four questions stem from this- feel free to respond to one or all:
1) Should we applaud the increased attention on body image and eating disorders, despite the lack of evidence that the program is as effective as it could be?
2) Is it enough to simply ‘raise awareness’, or should we always be aiming for reductions in body image concerns and disordered behaviours?
3) Is it our role as eating disorder and body image professionals to question and speak up about the dissemination of programs that lack a sound evidence base?
4) Are self-esteem oriented programs the most effective way to reduce body dissatisfaction?
Operation Beautiful
April 20th, 2012 jrust
Operation Beautiful™: Mission Accomplished!
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” ~ Margaret Mead
Sometimes it is the smallest gestures that have the most profound impact. Who would have thought a post-it note with a short and sweet message such as “You are Beautiful!” would lead to a national trend? Caitlin Boyle certainly did not, but that did not stop her from sewing the seed that has now become the masterpiece known as, Operation Beautiful™.
Her goal was to combat the societal epidemic of negative self-talk by countering it with a positive message. She first left the messages on mirrors in public restrooms at her work, gym, and local grocery store. She explains, “Maybe some people read them and just smile, but I bet some people are truly touched by the effort of a random stranger.”
She eventually created a website and began putting the web address on the notes so people could join the mission as a community. In the battle against toxic self-talk, the Operation Beautiful™ website is a sort of headquarters always recruiting more soldiers to walk the talk!
Glamour Magazine, Women’s Day, Oprah Winfrey Network, and The Today Show have all taken notice. Today, Caitlin’s website receives thousands of hits from across the Globe from others who contribute to the cause. She just published her second book, which feature collections of others! (Remember, this all started with a simple post-it note and a positive mind.)
I found an Operation Beautiful™ note and joined the cause two years ago. Since, I have organized three “Operation Beautiful™” benefits, reaching hundreds of attendees. Hopefully, some of these folks have gone on to spread the positivity. Regardless, the funds raised have been passed onto Project HEAL: Help to Eat, Accept, & Live, a nonprofit organization started by three brilliant teenagers that helps individuals battling eating disorders access the treatment they need.
Prevention + Intervention = REAL HOPE!
YOU can become part of the equation, part of the solution! Here is how:
What supplies do I need? This is the best part! This activity is incredibly accessible because it requires inexpensive items common to most households. Traditional supplies include: post-it notes as well as pens, pencils, gel pens, and/or markers. There are all sorts of shapes, sizes, and colors of post-it notes you can look for if you want to invest a few dollars into the project. You can always incorporate stickers too.
What do I write and where do I post the notes? Get creative and even animated. You can spread around your favorite quotes or make up your own inspirational messages. If you struggle with self-image yourself, just imagine what it is you might really need to hear today and then spread the love! You can embellish your messages by adding doodles, using different color combinations, and even drawing quick sketches to help your message capture one’s attention. It really comes down to how many notes you want to make and how much time you have to devote to the project.
People are now expanding the mission by using chalk on sidewalks and using non-permanent markets to draw directly on mirrors. Just be careful to respect public and private property by using methods that can easily be removed. By the way, if you walk by later and find your message is missing, it may have been picked up and taken home by someone who really needed it!
If you leave the www.operationbeautiful.com website on the post-it, people can learn more about the mission. You can also leave the address of an eating disorder non-profit organization. Regardless of your choice, just keep this to positive propaganda please!
Below is a list of 15 possible locations, as well as examples of what you might write.
1. Bathroom mirrors (Look in the mirror and repeat after me, “You are beautiful!”)
2. Dressing room mirrors (Objects in the mirror are more beautiful than they appear!)
3. Bathroom stalls (Size does not matter. Love yourself always and forever!)
4. Lockers in the gym or at school (Go out into the world knowing you are loved)
5. Scales at the gym (A mind is a terrible thing to waste and a waist is a terrible thing to mind.)
6. Diet and beauty product aisles at the store (You are magnificent just the way you are.)
7. Diet ads or Photoshop images on magazine covers (REAL beauty is who you are!)
8. Self-help books at the library or bookstore (Rock Steady!)
9. Ice-cream shops (Life is short; eat dessert first!)
10. Children’s toy packages that encourage unrealistic body image (You are the twinkle in the stars.)
11. Public bulletin boards (You can do anything you set your mind too!)
12. Gas pumps (“Don’t worry about a thing. Every little thing is gonna be alright” –Bob Marley)
13. Random car windows in the parking lot (Smile! It’s beautiful and contagious.)
14. Inside your cabinet doors (You deserve to enjoy your life.)
15. On your refrigerator (Nourish your mind, body, and soul. Breathe deeply & repeat!)
Whether you run a treatment program, suffer from an eating disorder, have a loved one battling an eating disorder, or have recovered from one, you have wisdom to share, so go out and share it! My partner surprised me with a note a few days before we held our first Operation Beautiful™ benefit and I still cherish it!
One you get started, the ideas will start running and you might even have a difficult time keeping up with yourself. Remember, this will benefit you and someone else! It’s like feeding two birds with one seed. Beautiful indeed!